Having blown out my back when I was thirty-six, I ruptured a disc that blew apart and damaged nerves. Permanent damage. Pickaxing while having ruptured discs and doing heavy renovations accumulated the injuries.
I went from being a person who enjoyed very active sports like skiing, etc. to not even being able to walk. Eight months barely able to walk. I kept putting off surgery because I wanted to avoid it. The pain was so bad I would go into shock and have to go to the ER. Eventually I did two surgeries, ten years apart and got addicted to Percocet (which is the leading killer of middle aged women). One of the top Los Angeles spine specialists/neurosurgeons even told me before the second surgery to (basically) give up "You will be bitter and on drugs and in pain your whole life." "Get used to the fact that you are disabled."
I didn't want to go into agreement with his opinion. I set out to defy those challenging medical predictions. I did drug rehab, spiritual work, nutrition and even my dang stubbornness to not give up and become “bitter” all helped. I balanced my life with things that made me happy so I didn’t go into apathy and slip down a rabbit hole. I knew I had to compensate for the emotional downhill battle and I figured out ways I could offset that. I got off the drugs and continued higher levels of spiritual improvement. It got better but I still have things occur except I bounce back pretty fast. I CHOSE NOT to be disabled.
By overcoming those barriers and battles, I regained a major zest for life. I found an amazing group of health coaches that strive to better themselves. I enjoy working on my farm and I have been able to manage my body to do what I want to.
I chose NOT to be disabled
When things do get a little tough, I know I can get the pain back down through movement, good food choices, building muscle and continuing my spiritual growth.
Currently, the goals I'm going after are being as healthy as an older person can be. Keeping my pain at a low or non-existent level and living life in a happy fashion in spite of the naysayers!
My advice to others going through these types of difficulties are: there is always light at the end of the tunnel but you can’t wait for it to come to you. Sometimes you have to crawl through that tunnel and find the light yourself.
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